Archive for August, 2011

Record. Play. Stop. Delete.

August 17, 2011

One of the great pleasures of having a Sky+ box is Series Link – being able to set your recorder to tape (yes, I know there’s no actual tape but I’m an old fashioned kind of guy) entire series at the touch of a button.

(There are other pleasures, too. For instance, the perverse joy I get at goading Virgin Media customers who “can’t possibly give money to that appalling Murdoch man, he’s a crook and he runs the country don’t you know?”

To which I reply, “Well you give your money to a bearded self-publicist who can’t even drive a hot air balloon and keeps talking about his fucking Caribbean island. Whereas I fund a real, live Bond villain. Oh, and there wouldn’t even be a Virgin Media without Sky. So shut it.”)

Anyway, back to Series Link. I’ve found that, because it’s so easy to do, I forget I’ve actually started recording these programmes and end up with hours of telly that I’ll never watch.

Or rather, I’ll start watching and then realise the damn series isn’t worth persevering with. At which point I delete all episodes, taking great pleasure in watching the ‘available memory’ bar creep back up to 100%.

Game of Thrones, The Shadow Line, Boardwalk Empire… I’ve deleted them all – it’s actually quite liberating. It’s me saying, “In your face, telly! I could have wasted hours of my life watching this shit every week in the hope it’ll get better! But now I don’t have to!”

One programme I did persevere with was  Luther. I watched the first two episodes of the second series. I wish I hadn’t. Here’s  what I saw.

Idris Elba wandering around London looking like a mildly disappointed bear.

"But they said there would be honey..."

A psychopath who wears a Mr Punch mask (“Murder? That’s the way to do it!”). A woman who I think is also a psychopath talking about going travelling like an unhinged gap year student. Pam Ferris being some sort of gangland matriarch.I don’t know why, but everyone talks very quietly. UNLESS THEY’RE SHOUTING!

It’s all rather disappointing. Just like lots of the other stuff I don’t watch.

Next week: I start watching the first episode of Camelot and marvel at the sub-Tolkien dialogue before fast-forwarding to the tits.


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