Home Alone 2

Sorry about the predictability of the headline. I know I could have spent some more time looking for different hooks upon which to hang this post. Ooh, I dunno. The election – hey, what’s that all about? Or whatever happened to [insert nostalgic riff here]? But when a gift horse trots up to you and nudges you gently in the chest it’s best not to… Actually, let’s stop that particular metaphor – this has been far too obvious and I’m only on my first paragraph.

There’s a lovely quote from Caitlin Moran in an interview with Martin Carr, which warns against settling for the first thing that presents itself to you. She in turn is quoting the late, great Alan Coren:

“The first idea that occurs to you, will have occurred to everyone. The second idea that occurs to you, will have already also occurred to the clever people. But your third idea – only you will have had that one.”

I love that. But I’d disagree with Alan in one respect. It’s not necessarily a bad thing to go with your first idea, just as long as you’ve carried on thinking and haven’t been able to beat it.

Take advertising. Please, somebody take advertising. I’ve got no documentary evidence to prove it, but I reckon that when the boys at Saatchi & Saatchi were given the advertising brief for The Independent, the line ‘It is. Are you?’ was at most number two on the layout pad. (My line would have been ‘It’s Inde-pen-dent. Write?’ And that’s why I don’t work for Saatchi & Saatchi.)

It would be lovely to see what the creatives came up with after ‘It is. Are you?’, if indeed they came up with anything. This was after all the 80s and they probably went off to the pub for the rest of the week.

These days, I’m not sure we have the time to think. We seem to be firing off first ideas, without the luxury of being able to sit back and see if we can better them. Or is this just a case of (grabs first available cliche) rose tinted glasses? I don’t know.

Well, I seem to have strayed somewhat from my original subject. So to get back on track, here’s my second batch of hastily cobbled-together observations about temporary single life.

1. It’s true. The ironing really doesn’t do itself.

2. Ditto the washing-up.

3. Chicken shouldn’t be eaten if it’s pink.

4. If you put a frying pan in the oven, remember to use an oven glove to take it out.

5. Body clocks aren’t as reliable as alarm clocks.

I know they’re all rather obvious. But I’m a bit pushed for time.

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One Response to “Home Alone 2”

  1. BNM Says:

    I’m home alone too. My wife’s in Brussels. I know, it’s crazy. So why don’t we go and make a nuisance of ourselves down the bus station? *is impervious to Mosquitos*

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